Hi All

Since joining this site I have only posted with the group "I Miss My Mom!", but have now decided to join this one as well.

I am a 39 year old, single female who lost her Mom on January 18th after a brief, but horrible illness. She died as a result of treatment that she received for a severe case of ulcerative colits. She was 76 and would have turned 77 on March 10th.

Mom and I were super close and I feel like am empty shell without her. I am seeing a psychologist for grief counseling, but so far don't feel much better. I can't seem to stop thinking about how much Mom suffered before she passed and how lonely she must have been in the hospital. I visited her every day, couldn't stay that long before she was very ill.

She was such a wonderful mother to me and I wish I had told her that more often!

To make matters worse I have little family and what I am left with is nothing to brag about. My Dad is a total waste who treated Mom like crap until she died and doesn't care that she is gone. My aunt ( Mom's sister) means well, but is very bossy and hard to take at times. She calls me every night, but because she is struggling with her own issues ( a lousy marriage and two grown sons who always hitting her up for money) Aunt Aggie is frequently stressed out and short of patience. This means that when she feels I have been talking too much about my loss she tells me that I am stewing and re-hashing and we need to change the subject.

I have tried returning to the Catholic Church, but don't want the people there knowing my troubles because church folk tend to be rather gossipy and my personal business will be spread all over the neighborhood.

Some days I don't even want to get out of bed!