Fiancee lost younger sister little over 2 months ago

Hello,

 

I am in desperate need of help. My fiancee lost his 17 year old sister a little over 2 months ago via gun shot to the head (suicidal or accidental idk). He has gotten to the point he wont talk to anyone, he is pushing me away. He is no longer the man I knew. I want to help him, but I dont know what to do. I know this is just part of the normal grieving process, but I was just wondering if anyone had any suggestions of ways I could help him. Also, we are supposed to be getting married June 8 of next year, but he no longer talks about it and I have asked him if he wants me to change the date to later, but I only get an I dont know from him. Last night he told me he was just emotionally unstable right now, which of course I understand. Sorry for the ramble, I am just in desperate need of advice. Also, if you are willing will you please send up prayers for him and his family they will find peace and as much comfort as possible with coping. Thank you

 

Amanda

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Permalink Reply by nancy on June 5, 2012 at 6:55pm

Amanda ,

My prayers go out to all of the family its a pain no one should have to bare. All you can do is let him know you are there for him. Encourage him to talk,cry, punch a boxing bag let him know that its ok to be angry and lots of other feelings i am sure he is going through.

Permalink Reply by Yetzy L. Diaz on June 5, 2012 at 9:08pm

I am sorry to hear for your loss.  I just lost my only sister and I really don't feel like doing nothing. Just give him time.  It has been a tragic loss.  It is very hard to loss your sister especially in an young age.  I Haven't overcome my sisters deaf which will 2 months on June 9.  Just support him, he might not talk to you, because he might need to go through a healing process. Just give him all you love and understanding.  My prayers will be with you and your fiances family.

Permalink Reply by Amanda on June 6, 2012 at 2:54pm

Yetzy I am sorry to hear for your loss also. I was just curious, are you pushing people away? I feel a little selfish in this, but we are supposed to get married next year and I dont know whether to postpone or to just keep planning and when I ask him he just says I dont know..

 

Permalink Reply by Yetzy L. Diaz on June 20, 2012 at 8:01am

Well Amanda each person deals with their grief differently.  I just don't talk to anyone about it to anyone. I just feel that even though people say they feel sorry, or sorry for your pain they will never feel what I am.  Sometimes I feel mad and upset because I ask myself why did she had to go.  So you have to be patient.  It doesn't mean he doesn't love you.  It was a tragic loss and his sister was very young.  Just let him know that you are going to be there for him when he is ready to talk.  About your wedding that is a decision you both have to make.  Good Luck and you will be in my prayers.

Permalink Reply by Dennis C. on June 23, 2012 at 7:13am
Amanda,

This is such a difficult thing. I am so sorry for all of you. Even the manner of the loss is just unspeakable. Words just are not there to comfort.

I found some information that may give you something that will help.

Follow the link and just read the information.

http://www.watchtower.org/e/we/index.htm?article=article_00.htm

It has helped many people who just didn't know what to do.

I hope it helps.

Dennis
Permalink Reply by Julie on June 30, 2012 at 11:57am
Amanda,
I am experiencing a very similar situation except I am the fiancé who lost her sister. I know he must be hard to read at times but just give it time. Maybe ask him if he wants the wedding to be smaller?  I know I wouldn't mind just eloping but my family isn't really into that. But it that is something you would consider maybe he will like that better so it's not a big show. I know its hard with him pushin you away, I do the same thing to my fiancé but just be there for him the best thing my fiancé does for me is just listen when I need someone to listen. He is the only person who never judges me or my feelings so be that person for him. 
If you need anything else feel free to message me. I will be thinking about you. 
Permalink Reply by Amanda on July 10, 2012 at 10:03pm

Julie,

I am very sorry for your loss. You will be in my prayers. I was just curious if this is taking a toll on your relationship. I am just at a loss. We constantly fight now and are currently taking a break. I just didnt know if this is normal and in time will pass..

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