Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by anna l. on June 10, 2012 at 10:26pm

Oh hun, I was right where you are now just a year ago.  You survive because that is what you have to do.  It is what you would want for your husband if it had been you that cancer struck down.  You will survive because your children cant loose both parents.  You will survive because there are others here who will offer you hugs and stories and understanding that only someone who has walked in your shoes can offer.  At first it is going to seem like there will never be a smile cross your face again but one day in the next months you will smile.  You will then feel so guilty that you could have a happy moment and we will assure you that it is ok.  Im so so so very sorry you have to face this huge loss but you dont have to face it alone. 

Permalink Reply by Polly Gee on June 11, 2012 at 5:20am

Thank you. I'm having trouble negotiating this site... I think maybe my head is still too foggy. But its so nice to just say what you feel and not have to put on a brave front and pretend everything is ok. You people actually know what has happened to me. How unfair is life.

Permalink Reply by Kim Phillips on June 11, 2012 at 5:57pm

Polly I totally understand.  I lost my best friend and soulmate too a month ago.  It doesn't seem real.  I walk around the house so lost.  I am soooo lonely and angry and extremely sad.  I feel like I am a zombie just trying to get by day to day.  I feel no joy.  I can not smile.  All I feel is depair and pain.  She was my other half and now that half of me is GONE!  Cancer is such a "MONSTER"  I am struggling with my faith in GOD.  I have been told by many that it will get better with time.  So far however time has only made it worse.  As each day goes by the loneliness, despair and tears become more and more.  I am surviving because she asked me to make a promise to her that I would watch over her son.  I think if she would not have made me make that promise, I would want to be with her.  Yes life is unfair.  Very unfair.  I see good people dying and evil people living.  I don't understand.  Yes it is hard to navigate this site.   I keep a journal and write to her everyday.  I don't know whether that is making things easier or harder but it is nice to write and share with her my day and my emotions.  I pray for all of us that one day we will understand all of this.  One day we will be reunited with our loved ones.  We will survive but it won't be easy.  We have family that needs us.  Blessings and love.

Permalink Reply by Philip B. on June 12, 2012 at 11:26am

Polly:  You survive because you have to.   He needs you to be strong and help him.   Caregiving is tough work but you can enjoy the better part of it because you love him and he needs you right now.   Take the time to fall apart together, but don't waste any time.  Enjoy every single moment you have together.    Do anything and everything that he is able to do.  Make some more memories every day.  

Permalink Reply by joni on June 19, 2012 at 9:03pm

Heartfelt hugs to you....I also lost my husband... 2 months after diagnosed with lung cancer... It is not easy. What helps me is grabbing all the support I can. Hospice support group, counseling, several close friends, journaling, prayer and family. Together we can and will get through this process greif...truly hugs and prayers, Joni

Permalink Reply by Ann on July 2, 2012 at 2:05am

Polly, I have no family so I am not surviving, just existing.  However, you have children and I can't tell you how much a mother means to a child no matter how old they are.  You will survive because your kids need you.  You will survive because your kids are his kids and they will keep him alive in the world.