Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Mary on May 8, 2012 at 7:24pm

Jennifer I understand what you are going through and I am so sorry for your loss.  My mother passed March 22 and she did not know she was dying and did not get a chance to tell anyone goodbye because she was not really in her right mind because of a huge brain tumor, though we were able to tell her goodbye, but watching her continue to go downhill for 21 days was the worse thing I have ever been through.  It's been over a month since she's been gone and it has gotten the teeniest bit easier, but I still miss her terribly and it is as if a part of me is missing and my heart and body physically ache because I miss her so much.  I know my mom is in a better place-really I do-she sent me an agreed upon sign that there was indeed a heaven and she was in it and happy, but no matter what anyone says, it does not make it easier.  Mother's Day will be so hard to get through and I will be saying prayers for everyone who's lost their mother. Just know Jennifer, you are not alone.

Permalink Reply by Jennifer Hollowell on May 8, 2012 at 7:51pm

Your prayers are welcomed. Thank you!! My mom also sent me a sign. It was Monday night, after her funeral. I of course have no been sleeping so I came in the living room to let my fiance sleep. I picked up my phone just to casually check facebook and I dropped it immediately. Everything on my phone was tinted blue. (my moms favorite color) My pics, my contacts, everything. At first I was alittle shocked but when I picked my phone back up I just smiled. It was her way of telling me that she was ok and she was with me. It did give me some comfort but Im missing her more and more. The only thought that has helped me get through the day is that the things I am crying over today will be the things that I smile about later. I have faith in that! 

Permalink Reply by Jennifer Hollowell on May 8, 2012 at 7:52pm

I can understand that. Im sorry. Just be thankful that you have a daughter who you know loves you and cherishes you as a mom. That will give you the strength to make it through. My thoughts are with you Sunny!

Permalink Reply by sarah schlachter on May 8, 2012 at 10:20pm

My mom died in a car accident Feb 5 my heart hurts my whole world is empty and the thought of mothers day is killing me..i miss her so much...

Permalink Reply by Mary on May 8, 2012 at 10:39pm

I am so sorry Sarah.  I wish there was a way to just reach out and hug everyone.  My heart hurts for you and everyone else.  I had never thought how Mothers Day must be for those who had lost their mom but now I am in that same situation and even though I have 2 grown children of my own, I am dreading Mothers Day without my mom.  I miss everything about my mom, her smell, her hugs, her laugh, I just wish I had one more day with her.

Permalink Reply by Erica Garcia SanMiguel on May 9, 2012 at 1:18pm

I am also not looking forward to Mothers day I lost my mom on Feb 22 and I have no idea how I am gonna manage to get through mothers day without her. Another thing is that my daughter's birthday falls on the same day this year and she has asked me to go back to our home town for her birthday but the thought of being home and not having my mom there makes me sick. am I just being selfish about my own feelings or should I try and go.....:( I have explained to my daughter about how I feel and she said she understands i even told her that she could go with my husband but I would rather stay home. I really do not want to ruin her birthday but I also do not want to go back home and then my aunt just put my grandmother in a nursing home and I know if mom was here she would not want that. I just want to call her and ask her what I should I do and I cant......... momma i miss you so much

Permalink Reply by Mary on May 9, 2012 at 5:09pm

Erica I think you are allowed to be selfish this time-though I don't think it is being selfish I think you are grieving.  I just don't think people understand that when you love someone so much-a mother who means the world to you, that the loss is horrendous and unexplainable unless someone has been through it themselves.  I miss my mom so very much, I just wish I could have one more hug.

Permalink Reply by Jennifer Hollowell on May 10, 2012 at 2:28pm

I absolutely agree with Mary. I also thought I was being selfish because I refused to smile for several days after the funeral and I with drew myself from people. But, its expected and I am sure that your mom knows why you are feeling this way. I have to go Saturday (the day before Mothers Day) to pick out my moms headstone and Im going to have a hard time doing that. But, I am planning to go to my moms grave site on Sunday and sit with her for awhile. Just talk to her and be close to her. Its not ever going to be the same and I am prepared for that. But, the ache on my heart has not left me yet and there are moments throughout my day where I just tear up and then there are moments where I actually pick up my phone and think "I need to tell mom" and it all hits me again. Tomorrow will be two weeks since she passed away and it feels like the day it happened. I just wanna feel her close to me and make her proud.

Permalink Reply by MSB on May 10, 2012 at 11:05pm

I can't imagine Mother's Day without my mother. i have been dreading it for months, ever since Valentine's Day was such a hard day. To make it worse, Saturday would have been my parent's 49th anniversary and I want to go visit my dad and be there for him. It is so hard to be strong for him, when i am falling apart. I just keep thinking how nice this weekend could have been. Without my mother, there will be no iccasions to celebrate.

Permalink Reply by Sue Waxman on May 11, 2012 at 7:02am

Try and be there for your dad. You never know how long you will have him. I have no occassions to celebrate anymore myself. I am all alone. Sue

Permalink Reply by Kelly Marshall on May 10, 2012 at 11:28pm

I understand how you feel, my mom passed away on April 29th of this year. Not even two weeks ago and now I have to deal with her not being here on mother's day. I see all the stuff in the stores about Mothers Day, wishing I could spend whatever money I have on her. I was at her and my step dad's apartment and saw the Mother's Day card I gave her years ago, that she had framed. We were each other's best friends, always there for one another. I don't think we could have been any closer. This year will be different. I'll say prayers and make the hour long journey to her grave (where she was buried on May 3rd) and place flowers on her grave and next to her, on my grammy's grave. Together, all of our mom's are spending Mother's Day together. . Looking down on us with pride. :)

Permalink Reply by Jennifer Hollowell on May 16, 2012 at 4:24pm

Its was a very hard Mothers Day. I know that you know how I feel Kelly, your mom died two days after mine. Its the hardest thing that I have ever imagined and I still dont know how to get on living my life without here. I sit and think of every fight or arguement that I ever had with her and ask her to forgive me. We were very close and going to her grave Sunday and placing flowers on it was so hard. I dont know exactly what I am supposed to do. It still seems so hard to believe and some times during my day I still cant believe its true. How can my mom be gone? How am I supposed to live the rest of my life without her? I thought I still had plenty of time. She was only 53. I imagined her living much longer and I was certainly not prepared. I dont know how to do this. :(

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