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Permalink Reply by mercy on March 6, 2012 at 9:49pm

Sweetie; I understand. I was a little older (21) when I lost mine but the pain and hole in my heart is still there. I really didn't know my dad too well even though we lived under the same roof; he was very traditional so there was no outward expression of love. I miss not knowing him, I miss what he represented in my life, I miss just having a daddy to talk to. Its so hard but I have to go on until my time comes. Its been almost 20 years since I lost him but most times it feels like yesterday. I had my mom but not for very long, she went to be with the Lord last year. I feel so empty, so alone. I know the feeling you're going thru, just come back here and post your feelings, we all understand and will be there for you.

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Permalink Reply by Chelsea Hutson on March 7, 2012 at 2:31pm

Ya my father and I were so close, I think that is what makes it so hard. I could just go and talk to him about anything, even I was in trouble I could always tell him and he would know what to do or what to tell me. No one in my family wants to discuss it and they think i'm crazy because its been four years and i'm still not over it. I don't think im crazy I mean that was my father you know. I just wish I could tell him I love him and miss him.

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Permalink Reply by mercy on March 7, 2012 at 3:39pm

Chelsea, I know how hard it can be to lose a parent you are close to. I just recently lost my mom and its been excruciatingly painful. I struggle to do anything, everyday. I know I have a purpose on this earth and that is to take care of my two year old daughter, this is the only thing that keeps me going. I'm a shell of my old self.

When you feel like you want to talk to him, just go to a private area and talk to him like he's right there with you. I do this all the time with my mom. I always feel better after talking to her and crying my eyes out. I've lost three siblings too and its just so very hard. When you feel totally overwhelmed, just ask God for his strength and grace. I'm so limited in my own strength that I've come to rely on God more and more. I hope some day in  the future we can face the day with a renewed sense of purpose and peace, for now, lets just ride these waves of grief with the help of our heavenly father. May God grant you some comfort for today dear.

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Permalink Reply by Chelsea Hutson on March 11, 2012 at 9:52pm

I know what you mean, I have tried to talk to him in private places, it just doesn't seem to mend the hole. I have also looked to god many times, though I struggle with that also. It's just so hard to get on the right path if you know what I mean.

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