It has been a year and a half later and it feels like he died before I was born. I went through a hard time grieving but, now I feel the grief again but he feels so far away. I don't know if it is him I am grieving or if there is something else. I just know I am sad and unmotivated to just take life day by day. I want to know how to slow down and take life day by day. I feel like I am on edge for the next thing to happen..good or bad.  Just sad.

When you come to the edge of all the light you have known and are about to step out into the darkness FAITH is knowing two things will happen, There will be something to stand on or you will be taught how to fly

Today was the first day since he passed that I felt a stillness inside. I have cried more the past week then I have since I was 15. I saw the quote, title of my blog, today in a store. It stood out to me....it was something that I know, but seeing it in front of me, kind of spoke to me. Today was the first day I have had,in a while that I felt hope again. Hoping it continues.

I have never had this feeling before. I know I have to let go of him, but I can't seem to do it. I went to a health fair the other day. They were collecting money for the American Cancer Society. Once you donated, you can put the name of to whom you are donating on a card they would hang on the wall. I couldn't do it. I couldn't imagine his name on one of those In Memory of cards. How do you let go? What holds me back? I don't know what I can do to actually let go and accept he is gone. I am…