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Comment by Debra Waszut on July 6, 2012 at 6:25am

I don't want to let go and in one way you don't have too...you hold on to memories you have him in your heart you never have to let that go.  But what you do have to do (and I am going through this too) is get used to this new life where he is in a different place. He is in heaven now and you are here.  When your time comes I believe that we will see him again.  Until them I am living for him and honoring his life by going on for my family as he would want to me to do.  I am trying to do what he would want...what God would want.  I am leaving the control to him.  This has taught me that I am truly not in control of anything and God is driving this ship.  I am in pain so much but I also have him in my heart.  We were so in love even after 33 years.  We were always together, we enjoyed each other's company so much.  People tell me they saw how special our love was all the time. I feel lucky to have had this. Yes I have lost him temporarily...but I wouldn't trade one minute of it.  He died of a massive heart attack after we had just made love and he had told me he loved me so intesely it almost scared me.  I said I loved him so much too...then he was gone.  I think this was actually a gift of one last time with him from god.  He always said if he had to go that was the way he would want it.  God so loved him that he gave him his wish.  I have to believe that.  A good support group would help...think about it. I know this is hard but we can do this.

Comment by Kathy S McBee on July 5, 2012 at 10:07pm

I keep thinking it's all in its own time. I lost my love in December and I was again dealing with tears today. I know he wants me to go on - and I am, as much as I can. Grief grabs me, at times, and I just try to deal with it. Be kind to yourself. Moving on stinks - but it's better than the alternative.

Comment by KN on July 5, 2012 at 6:41pm

I know how you feel....like you are on a deserted island away from everyone.