DETACH. When illness or whatever loss we face in the first person or else, we are forced to rethink what plans we had that will no longer work. Its like crying for what should, could, would have been IF that NEVER HAPPENED. Yes, the future of our PLANS change constantly shaped by the options in the PRESENT. Future is nothing more than lots of present time summed up. And the incident of loss is just a sometimes cruel reminder for connecting to the present and erase the projections and expectations. The attachment to a future that will never be, is not real to start with. Because that would assume we would be in control of all life factors and we are not. We may never have a clue, it may never look fair. It may be what we ever feared the most. But what are we missing really? The COST we gave to that which is nothing more than the EMOTIONAL VALUE we have attributed. Most attachments are rooted in the past or future at the exclusion of the PRESENT. And recognizing this makes all the difference. Allows to address the EMOTIONAL COST, so we grow out of the need to attachment and reduce greatly the suffering associated. For example, a small boy loves the truck given to him by his father who died. And thus while the truck is just a toy and as such can be replaced by other toy or another truck, the boy cries for loosing the love from the father. Therefore he suffers from the loss of love from father that this toy represents. Therefore he can be his whole life chasing for that love and attention loss by purchasing lots of things that to most would make no sense at all, or simply understand that love is not attached to material things. Thus there is no need to suffer. And by remembering the love was given and kept and not possible to buy, sell, or loose; that child would have problem solved and carry the love received in his heart, instead pouring out in so many ways the acking need for it. We all are much like that, we attach to feelings and project in things and people which will never match. Understanding there is no LOSS, but change and positive things and changes will have the place to grow on us as opposed to continue to choose to suffer. But for the grief, it´s almost impossible to switch, and most likely the switch is temporary and guilt or any trouble puts it right there in the pitty pot. Takes a little healing to put the head up again, and peer pressure may not be all there to remind where we should give ourselves permission to feel, such as to feel GOOD or CONTENT. First we have to give SELF permission, and then reinforce or go without anyone else´s permission. FAITH.