Tomorrow, im having a lot of friends over for a party before school starts back up. But, Sunday, i have to go to Wyoming to see my blood father and im going to stay there for a week. The father of both me and Robert. Robert was older than me, the first born, and i'm not used to being around any of Kenny's (my father's name) family without Robert there, no less around Kenny himself. Even when Ken still lived in Colorado with us, i was rarely around him without Robert there. This is going to be harder than normal, I've gotten slightly used to being here, at home, without Robert here in person, and I had before he was dead because he had moved out 2 months before he was killed. But, with Kenny, who i was almost NEVER around without Robert there, it's going to be hard to get used to dealing with that. Ken did let me bring Jenna, my (and Robert's) best friend, but it won't be the same as having Robert there. I'm thankful Jenna is coming, of course, because if she wouldn't, i would break a lot easier than it'll be with her there. But, as i've mentioned before in other posts, I am not used to being in this world without Robert- My mom, Ken, my step-dad, they all have a time in their life that they were happy and Robert wasn't there. And all the younger kids, since we had split custody before Kenny moved to Wyoming, remember me and Robert not being around 24/7. But I have no memories without him around, really. We had the same group of friends and everything. There wasn't many things me and Robert did separately. Which might be why it's so hard for me to be getting over this. But i think everyone is expecting me to get over it soon... I still post on his wall on facebook and everything, and the first few times i did, just about everyone that was a friend of both me and him "liked" it, but now the only person that really "likes" it is my mom. And not even she posts on his wall as often as i do- I post every other day just about. Whenever something reminds me of a memory with him, i let him know- Just like i would have if he was still here.

I don't know... Maybe i should get over it...