It's the first day of the new year, and now we begin a new. I did'nt say we start over because I don't want to start over. I want to begin a new.A new way of thinking, a new way of believing, and a new way of living my life. I have been on a very long and painful journey. I'm thinking it's time to do things different. This year I am going to try and spend more days laughing than crying, smiling, instead of frowning, and grateful instead of being selfish. I have realized that I can't change what's happened. I can't turn back the hands of time, I can't die because that's not up to me, and if I want to be of any help to anyone else I need to be more positive than negative. I pray for the good sense to know when I'm being triggered, the wisdom to know to catch it before it gets out of hand, and strength to carry on even when the road gets to long and rough. I pray for the sense to acknowledge all the wonderful things this life has to offer, and to always remember that even though my boys are not here on this earth, they will always be in my heart. When the rain comes down may I think about the laughter and love we shared. If the tears should fall, may I look in my heart and know that I would do it all over again just tobe allowed and privelaged to be their mother and friend.When sleep alludes me i pray for the peace in knowing that I am loved in heaven and I am loved on earth. The older I get the faster life seems to fly by, so this year I'm going to catch every wonderful moment I am allowed. I want to feel the breeze in my face once again. I want to watch the clouds and feel the serenity they bring. Most of all I hope to find peace with the past and faith in the future. Atleast I know now where I can go to let it all out. Right here on this sight. Peace and Love to everyone who reads my blog. Wishing you contentment this new year.