It´s funny how life is. When we deal with pressures it´s all bad news. It´s the rebel that gets quiet or puts up a fight....we give back in more than anyone deserves any good or crap. Because that energy is needed to go forward, and sometimes it´s an inside the mind process. In everyone´s lives come a time to separate self from everybody else. And although relationships are welcome they tend to freeze in whatever they know of us. And came to expect so little and most times we are down we find the beat up exercise djusts just fine. Eventually we grow tired of what bears that smallness in the minds of people around. I know sometimes I could use a friendly hand or sholder or someone to call friend. But how realistic is it? I do not know. There is much more than whatever meets the eye anyhow. For instance some may see me as this sick person and I am sure I have had y share of ilnesses, but they don´t define me. THere are others that think I may pretend to be sick to hide fro the world or something. I am sure any wounded being would be licking their wounds in a cave just to get away from the predators, and I am sure I have a side of mine that ehaves like any wounded animal. But that does not define me either. Then there is the vert of thinking that we can HEAL SELF, and I wonder why anyone need doctors for if religions and cults were that GOOD. Profetic but not realistic. Besides it puts BLAME in the person and credit to the faith. 

Therefore I have a new concept for myself. NO GUILT. Not to be imposed by others, or bought in, or borrowed and whatever. What I do now is for OWN GOOD, and only. And I will kow what works or doesn´t without much annoyance surrounding my ideas and how to try what when and how.