So tomorrow I have a paper due for class and I can not get motivated to start this paper. This is not like me, yea normally I procrastinate and wait till the last minute, but I always get my work done. I think I work best under a little pressure. But right now, I don't even care if I start this paper. I have up to a week to turn it in late and only get marked down one grade and that is looking to be my best option. Sorry to ramble, but I sat down at four o'clock to start this paper and just said the hell with it at eight o'clock, just a couple of sentences of writing during a four hour block of time. Has anyone else experienced this-want to do nothing and who the hell cares attitude? Maybe it has to do with me working today at the funeral home location where my dad's funeral was less than a month ago, maybe my dad's death is finally taking toll on me and freezing my mind and my ability/want to function. Tomorrow I have to talk to my professor and explain the reason for not having my paper done, I hate to use my dad's death as an excuse, but really what else am I suppose to say. It is the truth, my dad did die and now I am left to deal with my grief. I hate when people ask how I am doing, they really don't want to listen, so I just try and pacify them with a sweet answer and say I am doing alright. Bull shit am I doing alright, MY DAD DIED SUDDENLY AND UNEXPECTEDLY AND AT AGE 57, how the fuck do you think I am doing?! I could take an incomplete for this class, but then I would have to play catch up at a later date, so I should suck it up and finish this semester. I just hope to pass this class with a minimal grade and move on! My dad would want me to finish school and not give up, so that is what I intend to do, just with little detours along the way like turning in my paper late. Better late then never! I love you Freddy and miss you every day!