I suppose this will be a quick update - I hear thunder and know a storm is coming in. It's a good thing, I suppose, with the drought we've been having.

After seven months, I still find this grief too hard. Last night, I awoke to a nightmare about Hollister and his past. Whatever that was, it stood between us for many years when we could have been together and I'm angry and sad about that. Four years (and a little change) isn't much to spend with 'the one.'

Lately, I've been trying to face up to the responsibilities of 'leftover business' from my dad's estate. I was able to help with an estate sale; it went better than we could have hoped - the second day was a power outage throughout the state.

My body's rebelling; there is little feeling in my legs. I walk like I'm drunk because I can't feel those big sausages that contact the floor. Sheesh. My sister has dealt with too much, through my parents' illnesses and deaths, and I doubt I'll be able to help with the upcoming trip to move furniture and more. Can't be much help if I can barely walk, now can I?

After seven months, I'm still crying at odd times, trying to move on and can't find the way, and I don't know what to do next. Maybe that makes me 'normal,' whatever that is. In trying to prepare the house for my parents' estate items, at least I feel like I'm moving forward a bit.

For those who have their 'significant other' with them (a poor phrase for it if I've ever heard one), don't forget why you're there. You love them. Cherish them while you can. We had our issues, God knows, but I'd give anything I have just to be able to hold him through the rest of this.