my  beautiful son shawn, soon nov 5 will be here and I just don't think I can take it. I want to see you, feel you and hold you forever. I want to hear your voice,  oh god I would give my life in a min to hear you say mom again.  im told im in a deep depression, pills pills pills and nothings helping. I beg you everyday to take me home with you,  please don't leave me here in hell alone empty, such a dark place to be in.  pain like I have never felt before each and everyday.  I miss you so very very much my son, you are the love of my life always and forever. im so dead in side, im here shawn im waiting for you please come get me, I love you baby,    mom