Iam going to post a bigger pictue of me  and my wife.The picture was taken years ago when I wasn,t fat

Me and my stepson go to a buddist temple session (service) every Sun .My wife was taiwanese. You go for 7 sun and this assures she goes to heaven(pureland)

Two more sun and we don,t have to go back. I don,t want to make it sound bad its just in chinese.The monks or clergyman(all woman) always help you and speak excellent english.There is a big difference bertween a christian church service . Any the buddist temple is a nice service very quick and even has a sermon (translated in english to a portable reciever with a ear peice for people that need it .)

Iam beginning to come to grips or rather Iam really in the hole of depression about the passing of my wife. She had her ways,we weren,t really that close but I hung in there maby I was wrong.I just didn,t  have the mental emotional maturity to leave early in out marrage.So there was a bond between us although she made some terrible financial mistakes.

When Iam in the hosp going thru a living nightmare of her failing health I don,t know where the subject came up of taking her off life support. Two weeks before she was walking talking complaining,going into rages against me or taking it out on me but she was there.

I don,t know what happend ,the doctors examined her said the situation was bad.I suppose I could have left. I won,t go into details but she was in bad shape. It at this point your in some kind of daze and in a super denial,give permission for life support to be taken off.I didn,t cry ,or bury my head in my arms  but it was done. Nurses are very quick in this situation .Was I forced to watch her die,no .Her son and wife the bravest people I have never known stayed in the room and watched her die I couldn,t bear it but I jumped right in there and was with her for her last moments.

Typing this is really hard!!

So Heh guys and girls Iam alone no friends no where to go.However (the big however Iam going to do something I don,t know what.

Dave