I can see where Iam going to go absolutly nuts unless I do something with my life.Unfortuntly my worthless therapist just sits there and listens to me talk about something or anything. I have yet been really suicidal I think we all think about (or some of us do ). Anyway I suggested I hike down a popular trail near where I workd and he said "yea that would be a good idea" I would think he would help introduce me to a therapy group. So Iam put in the position where I have to get enough courage to go to these things on my own,which I haven,t done yet which is defeating me.However I have a good ole fashion of depression .No I miss her.in a sense she made my life a living hell ,but in the mean time I was wasting my life away in a small way. I still loved her and was in total shock when she died becasue I did something I thought I would never do and had her breathing tube removed as I type Iam enraged over how her treatment went and don,t know why I don,t at least hold the doctors acountable.

Dave