Comment

Comment by Gina Stroup on April 26, 2009 at 10:33pm

Well Shady... I am almost at the two year mark and I am still grieving the loss of my husband. He passed away from CANCER June 24, 2007. He is on my mind always, some days are good memories, and some days are my feel sorry for myself days. This man was my life for 27 years and died at the age of 54 and I was 49. He was my soul mate. He loved his family with his whole heart. All I can say is take one day at a time..... look to good friends for comfort... and remember the good in your friendship., take care, Gina

Comment by Lou LaGrand, Ph.D. on April 26, 2009 at 6:58pm

Shady: Ask yourself what else you have lost besides the relationship with your friend. Often the secondary losses can cause grief long after the person has died. Each secondary loss needs to be recognized, talked about with a trusted person, and grieved. LLG

Comment by Shady Wilbury on April 26, 2009 at 2:09pm

Thanks for the comment, Stan. :) It's certainly useful. I'll remind myself of that when I start thinking in terms of time again. :)

Comment by Stan Goldberg, Ph.D. on April 26, 2009 at 2:07pm

I never thought it made much sense thinking about time lines for grieving. I've known people who grieved their entire lives for someone and others who where looking for a new mate within months of a loved one's death. What I've found is that the length and severity of grief felt was usually related to the emotions the loved one generated in them. I've found that to be the first step in reducing grief. Hope this helps.

Take Care,
Stan

Comment by Dj French on April 26, 2009 at 1:56pm

i am a member of the online grief community after losing my son and have been many yrs. i am close to many of the other angel moms that i have never met. There has been 6 that I knew that just couldnt live without their child and they chose to take their own lives. I know this feeling but feel that Shane prevents me from doing this and sends moms across my path that will help me on this grief journey. My prayers are with you. Maybe if you write to her family? Hugs, Dj

Comment by Shady Wilbury on April 26, 2009 at 1:37pm

Well, I guess it's closure. I desperately want to have that. It's not something that's going to come easily, though. I'm in the UK, her family are in Argentina.

Shady

Comment by marie robitaille on April 26, 2009 at 1:15pm

Shady, you say that you "should be moving on" but you "lack something which I need in order to do so." Can you say more about what it is, that you think you lack? Or is it something vague & nameless?

Wishing you peace,
Marie

Comment by Diana, Grief Recovery Coach on April 26, 2009 at 12:56pm

Are you saying you never met in person? If so, I can definitely relate to that. I think the biggest thing that helped me was actually meeting his daughter and sharing our memories. I now have his guitar and I cherish it. Everybody's grief journey is different, do you have any memories you would like to share in the blog/journal feature? Can you meet her family?