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Sometimes sadness turns into rage. Other times it turns to words on a page. Luckily for my knuckles, today I chose the latter. Enjoy.
This place is too familiar. I was sent here not too long ago. My heart was stamped with a life time pass that I never wanted. A membership to a 'Not So Amusing Park' where there is No amusement and No fun. There are long lines but so much loneliness... Only emotional roller coasters that seem to shoot downward and round and round until you are ready to puke your heart out. I escape, but only for a moment behind clouds of purple haze. Finally, Days of worrying are laid to rest on a tear soaked pillow. Sleep is disturbed by a mind that won't stop running and a broken heart that keeps on aching. Each morning I am loaded onto this bus and here I am again. And yet each evening I stroll out of this Not So amusing park, navigating my way through teary eyes and mascara stained cheeks.
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1 im so stuk on is multi loss 1 im screemin 2 let me off i try 2 get set blt off its stuk u cud say
im yellin get me off im so f@@@@@@@k p@@@@@@st of coz of so mush loss
i miss thm alll
i luvd thm alll
im not hertls u cud say
i wait 4man/womn 2 cum fix it bt im stil stuk
thngs iv bean told
get over it
its slf puty im aftr no i juts wish evry 1 wz still hear
i shud be usd 2 evry gon
no 1 gets sud 2 un;es th a prest or a selbrent or undtakr or medic so on
or i let it hapnen
or if i sea thm thy die nxt day dnt amk feal mush btr wen u get tld vil hrob; horbl stuff it dnt
its coz im a jix thy ded died or gt sic
on hear iv fodn grt suprt wear no 1 tells me off or way i feal i feal lk iv o iv fond a srgat famly u say lots of brths sisrts on hear u cud say
coz thy dnt jug me way i greve thyd nt dnt
im still on top of rollwr costr i am so stuckk i cnt get offf
sisne 2012 so mush loss in 1 go evn 2013 2014 2015 im scremin yell but no 1 can hear me
sorry fow yore loss 2
How I have felt the last 10 1/2 months, almost 11 now, I must be on the roller coaster that is broke and been stalled all this time in hell.
Very well written! Describes what it's like to grieve -- an emotional roller coaster for sure! Just about the time you reach the top and think maybe you can get through it, the bottom drops from beneath you and down you go. Sending my love your way, and praying you may have peace and comfort...
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