Even though this is my first christmas without my husband, it really was joyous. I decedid to give my testimony christmas eve. I had went through a divorce when i was 27 and married jeremy when i was 33. but my divorce i really got angry at God started drinking, going with different men, and putting my life in danger. when i met jeremy. i was so much in love. he died this october 2010. he was 32. it crushed me. but my faith grew. i felt Gods presence like i never felt before. i spoke at jeremys memorial service. i didn't even cry when i spoke because God was with me. my husband suffered from severe depression, and got addicted to perscription drugs. although i don't know if thats what he died of. its unsure. but i tried to help him. i prayed for him continuously. he loved God and went to church, but he lost both of his parents really young. the depression over took him. i hurt for him, but couldnt help him. when he died it hurt so bad. he was my best friend, but i decided to heal from this. i spoke at the christmas eve service.  the same day my husband died, my niece was rushed to u of m hospital for bleeding on the brain. she almost didn't make it. plus my dad has throat cancer. and  came with a chemo pump on at my husbands memorial service. i spoke about how God heals, my niece is healing, i believe my dad will heal. jeremy was healed in a different way. God took him home now he has no depression, or pain in his feet. and death is not the end. if you Bleave jesuse died for you. and asked him into your heart.i  death is just the beginning. heaven is real and i will see jeremy again. i do miss jeremy and i ache so bad but i will see him again.  take care tammi(a young widow)