Hi everyone

It's been almost six months since i lost my brother David. Since my last post, 1 week after his passing, i thought it would never get easier. The guilt was over whelming and the pain was so intense i felt i couldn't breathe. I did a lot of crying and praying. I just thought i would share with those of you who feel like i did, the things that helped me. i wrote a poem for my Brother. never wrote one in my life. I also wrote him a letter every day.  ( online journal ( private of course) I named my journal, Letters to Heaven. I talked to him every day, like i used to. Unfortunately, i didn't talk to him for 4 months or so prior to his passing, because i was mad at him. Calling me drunk and being mean, i decided to cut him out of my life. Wrong thing to do. I lived with the guilt and thought, if i could only change him and stop him from drinking, he would be here today. I did a lot of soul searching and realized, I couldn't help him, only he could help himself. Therefore, thats why i started to write these letters to him. I let out my anger, sorrow, pain, etc. on him through my letters. I haven't written a letter in 2 months. The last letter i wrote was a goodbye letter. I wasn't able to say it when he was here, so i did it through my last letter. It gave me some closure and i can deal with the pain a little better. I miss and love my little brother every day. I do believe he is no longer in pain. The last phrase of my poem is(, I no your at peace and your heart aches no more, i will see you again Dave, at heavens door.) I pray you all can find peace and Please don't blame yourself. They are at peace, so now its our turn for peace. God Bless!! hope i helped ease your pain a little