Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
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debbie ramirez has not received any gifts yet
Hi everyone
It's been almost six months since i lost my brother David. Since my last post, 1 week after his passing, i thought it would never get easier. The guilt was over whelming and the pain was so intense i felt i couldn't breathe. I did a lot of crying and praying. I just thought i would share with those of you who feel like i did, the things that helped me. i wrote a poem for my Brother. never wrote one in my life. I also wrote him a letter every day. ( online journal (…
ContinuePosted on September 1, 2011 at 9:12am
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My dad died in 1983 with cirrhosis of the liver due to alcohol. Sometimes we try our best to get them help but they never take us on. Guilt feelings r a part of the grieving process. I still miss him after so long. I joined this site cuz I lost my husband on 12th June, 2012. I am thankful to all these wonderful people who share their loss nd give words of comfort to others,
Jean
Debbie, I really like your idea about writing letters... I've done that a couple of times already with my mom, and it does seem almost therapeutic. You also hit on a point that has been something I've struggled with a lot--forgiveness. It's so difficult to look at everything and everyone my mother left behind and know that it was (in a sense) a choice made on her part. I've found myself sometimes wishing she would have died of cancer or something similar, just because I could then feel angry at the cancer (or what have you), instead of feeling angry at her. I don't know. It's just a huge heap of confusion, as I'm sure you know.
But you're right, we're survivors and things will work out in the end. :)
Debbie, thank you so, so very much for your insight. I'm incredibly sorry to hear about your losses and all you have been through, especially regarding the alcoholism. Your message to me was more comforting than I can possibly express. You hit some of my emotions/thoughts right on the head, specifically about feeling intense guilt. There have been so many times that I have (and still do) blamed myself for what happened to my mother. I often feel as though it was my duty as her only daughter to be there for her, you know? But you're right--the only person that can save an alcoholic is the alcoholic him/herself. It breaks my heart to read about how deeply alcoholism has affected your family. It also runs in my family, but my mother's death is the first death I've experienced closely.
Thank you again, SO much, for the kind words of encouragement. Please feel free to contact me if you ever want to talk. I know that probably doesn't ease your pain whatsoever, but the offer is there.
God bless you. <3