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Comment by Ruthie on October 4, 2016 at 11:59am

Donna, on 10-7-16 it will be 9 months for me and I have heard that too--and many people will never understand until it happens to them.  Our daughter said she used to think it was just a part of life and people should move on, but now she understands the undescribable pain/life we feel and no compassion from people any more, but now and again an angel with compassion shows up:) Take Care:)

Comment by Billy Jo Colt on October 1, 2016 at 5:26pm

I did try and reply earlier but lost the message somewhere. In case this has been posted twice, my apologies.

Dear Donna, Please don't listen to anyone who tells you to move on. You You alone will know when it is time. We never forget and we do, in time come to terms with our loss or losses. Everyone is different. So very different.Some never come to terms with their loss. My girlfriend died 3 years ago past in May. I miss her every single day. The pain is still as strong as it was on the morning I recieved the call to tell me she had died. There are no words to describe how I feel. I have lost my heart and soul. My guitar sits in a corner unused and unplayed. It is appreciated that people are only trying to help when they say, it's time to move on. It simply isn't our time to move on. It isn't self pity or a need for attention. It is simply our own internal feelings and emotions trying to make sense of the loss of someone we love. I truly wish people wouldn't say things that may be good intentioned but has profound and deep resentment from the person they are giving their bad advice to. The frustration, the sheer depth of loss is different with every single person. No two people grieve the same. Sad to say there is little advice I can give except take each day as it comes. If things don't improve then think about counselling at some point. Only when you are ready and again please don't let anyone tell you when. I've been a member for quite a few years and when I chat to people here, it is nice to know they too are going through a similar process as I am. Take care and know you are not alone. hugggs xx John