Missing him.

Ever since my husband died I have become a little indifferent in my belief in God . I hate to say it , I fear thinking it. I still believe in God , I still believe there is nothing that God cannot do . I just do not have blind Faith anymore. I had that blind unrelenting Faith that God would save my husband or at least help him to live long enough to get a transplant. That never happened and I watched him die. I have a real hard time believing that his death was part of a great plan . My husband will never get to do the things he wanted to do, I will be without the love of my life and my children will grow up without him and this is supposed to be a good thing? I just cannot except that. Now I will live the rest of my life alone and struggle with 4 young Children and this is for a great purpose? 

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Comment by Jennifer Walde on August 16, 2016 at 1:19am

I understand how your relationship with God changed, because I feel the same way. My first and only child was born not breathing. She was revived, and received testing. The same day she was born we were told she would soon die. She beat the odds and lived to 15 weeks old. But I can't understand how watching my daughter ultimately suffer organ failures and then starve to death was good or right. How do I trust that God really has my best intentions at heart? How do I move forward with faith? If He loves me wouldn't he help me understand why, so I can live the rest of my life with a little more purpose and less angst over losing her? I feel for you. If you find an answer to improving your faith, let me know. She died a year ago and I'm still struggling

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