I was never really lonely with her although when she was out and about I cherished moments by myself I start remebering the good times early in the marriage.Although thru the whole time I was married the burden of her "revengful temper' was always on my back.Ugh

Iam not sure how lifes would have turned out. There was more than one time I was drinking and driving after she laid into me.Anyway she was my rock.Alhtough she made some terrible financial errors. We never did plan for the future that much.It all boils down to me making decisons and sticking to them regardless of her temper.

One way or other something had to give in our lifes .No one can perdict how long we are going to be on this earth.

So I figure the good lord has plans for me. I feel that I may not make it or just recently,I had the feeling that I might live for a long time.I,ll just live day by day and try to make something out of my life.No it shouldn,t have happend like this.We all go thru the"what ifs" you know what if I would have paid more attention to her health.Maby let myself go emotionally.Iam very good at bottling up my emotions

Dave