My therapist says I have complicated grief.  Here's  one of the reasons.  Since my wife died my son has told me many disturbing things.  My son is 19 and mentally challenged.

He confessed to me that for close to the last 2 years my wife has been drinking.  Not only drinking but allowing my son to drink with her.  And it progressed, it started with beer, then smoking cigarettes and cigars, then adding hard liqueur,  and most recently they started smoking marijuana.  

One moment I feel betrayal that the mother of my son was corrupting my son and the next minute I miss my wife.  I only found this out after she passed away.  I don't know how she could have done this.  

Right now I am missing her deeply.  But then I think where would the relationship have gone if I had known this?

My sister says I should have divorced her 8 years ago, others have expressed similar sentiments.  I have a lot of difficulty putting it all in any kind of understandable perspective in my mind.

My head is spinning.

Good night