idiots

I just had to share one of my good friends words to me earlier today "hope you have a happy new year jo, hope it's better than this years", to say I wanted to punch her in the face is a bloody understatement,  of course im not going to have a happy new year you stupid  idiot woman, Andys dead , im never going to have a happy new year again you utter moron, now that is what I should have said instead of just smiling back before walking away, do people including our so called friends really think that the start of a new year will just magically make everything better, my god they have no idea, like I said earlier IDIOTS all of them IDIOTS 

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Comment by bluebird on January 1, 2016 at 12:25pm

I agree with morgan, and I do much the same thing: "Insensitive comments like your friend's is why I have ended up isolating myself.  I just don't try to participate much in their universe because I don't live there anymore..."

I am not a part of this world anymore, not a part of humanity. I am quite literally a zombie -- my body inexplicably keeps moving, but I am dead.  People who haven't suffered this kind of loss don't/can't understand this; they actually do think that things can get "better" for us. I'm sure your friend is well-meaning, but she cannot understand.

Comment by morgan on January 1, 2016 at 12:48am

Joanne,  Insensitive comments like your friend's is why I have ended up isolating myself.  I just don't try to participate much in their universe because I don't live their anymore and so the less I participate the less chance I have of running into the kind of stuff that just drives more hurt.  I cant stand hurt.  I have a hard time reading the little blue boxes at the side column because I realize there is more hurt lurking there.  I want to respond to those who are coming here seeking some sort of answers as to what has happened and I try as often as I can but I am running out of steam.  I cant stand to realize there is more hurt out there so I retreat.  in all forms.  People who don't know any better, people who mean well but have not the tools to express it and so fumble all over and people who are enduring hurt and are looking for the answers just like we are.  Hurt has become a horrible thing.  I'm just steering clear a smuch as I can.  My own brain inflicts enough hurt on me all by itself.  Over and over I keep asking myself why and there are no answers.  Its what shaking hands with death does to us………nothing but hurt.  

Comment by Hilary Christene on December 31, 2015 at 10:46pm

yes, that is really how fragile and pathetic this all is. God Help Me.

Comment by dream moon JO B on December 31, 2015 at 2:23pm

i no

sinse 2012 i get told it evry new yr m oer bad news bad thng hapen 

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