Usually it hits me in the evening, the realization that he isn't coming home. That's when I cry, rant at God, ask everybody I know in heaven to help me get through this. Today it is only 10:00 a.m. and I am already in my evening stage.It is just going to be a horrible day. Can't focus on anything to get it done, doesn't really matter anyway. What's the point? On days like today, nothing matters except that I am alone. This "time will heal" stuff isn't working. I don't expect to be "healed" but I keep hoping this knife in my heart feeling gets better. And it doesn't feel any better today.