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Comment by Emily Elizee on August 22, 2011 at 10:15am

Well I am not a church going person, but I do believe in a higher being!!! But yes my faith in  believing there is a higher being have been questioned since Joe death!! I ask how can God allow such violent acts to take place?  And what would be the reason? And how can good come out of such a loss? But I read inspirational quotes about death and that seems to help. But it is a constant struggle!!Babs whether you in a church or not, I believe people who have not gone through what you are going through will still be unable to bring the comfort and support to you!! But I understand why you would be wondering about the online church!!! I will light a candle for you!! Take care

Comment by Babs on August 22, 2011 at 5:06am

Had another thought this morning in trying to understand why I am strugling so much now when I have been through hard times before as a christian and been able to draw strength from God and the chuch. I think I have felt that "the church" his people don't understand, support or acknowledge my grief and have thought that God didn't either which is not true. I guess as I don't feel supported in my grief at church I have distanced myself and it is as hard to worship alone without community as it is to grieve alone. I guess maybe we need to be validated in our faith as well as our grief. I wonder if their is an online church!! Hope my rambling thoughts may help someone. My prayers and thoughts are with you, Hugs. Babs

Comment by Babs on August 22, 2011 at 4:54am

Thank you for your comments, Crystal I understand what you mean when you say a part of you died. I had a dream that I gave Steve my heart so that he could live but it would mean that I would die and then wondered if I was commiting suicide by doing that. When I thought about the dream afterwards I realised that losing Steve was not like losing an arm or leg which you can eventually adjust too and learn to live without but was like losing my heart which you can't live without. I may be having a hard time with my faith but my heart goes out to you and I am praying for you. Just after posting this yesterday a friend who I hadn't spoken to for a long time texted me a verse Psalm 18:28 You O lord keep my lamp burning, my God turns my darkness into light. It really helped to think that God does know how we feel, Take care. Babs

Comment by coachlouise on August 22, 2011 at 3:28am

Dear Babs, and Crystal.

There are some things we can just not understand. Death  can make us examine all the big questions in life.  Faith is one of them. To trust God and  have unshakeable faith can bring you many rewards. However those rewards only come when you really surrender and realize we are not in control. Then with time you begin to see all the gifts that come to you from your growing pains. I have compassion for you, it is not an easy journey, but I encourage you to re-awaken your faith, God loves you. 

Comment by Crystal (BluSkyy) on August 21, 2011 at 11:41pm

I had lost faith in God when my grandpa died in 2004.. I felt like " Why Is God Making Me Go Thru This Pain"  And " Why Did God Have To Take My Grandpa"  When my Grandma started getting sick i started to get my faith back because God would answer my prayers and heal her.. Now that my Grandma has passed on Aug 13th I feel like Iam losing my faith again in god.. " Why Did He Do This" Why Did He Take Her Way From Me"  I know God will give you what you can handle.. I know what doesnt kill you will make you stronger.. But i feel dead inside.. I feel like a part of my me died right along with my Grandma.. I know she was ill and i know she was suffering but why couldnt God heal her again like all the other times... I do beleive in heaven and i do beleive in God, But there is somedays i wonder if there is even a God.. I know this is going to take me a very long time to greif and everyday feels like a challenge.. I miss her so much, why couldnt God had taken me instead of her..

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