My wife Jami's birthday was yesterday, 10-13-11.

Our son Nicholas and me didn't have a cake, we had her favorite, M&M cookies.

It was somewhat of a difficult day but not really!  It was more of a challenge.  A challenge to be brave, courageous, and committed to getting through it (her birthday) I made it a goal when today arrived to celebrate this day, no matter how difficult it was, the way she would want us to.  And that was with our son and I talking about funny things we did together, laughing about them together, giving each other hugs, having a good time, and making plans for our future.

I heard that song the other day and I could have sworn I caught a whiff of her incense, AH-CHooey!!!!!  Of course, strawberry incense.  Man Jamipoo, you've been gone a while and you're still making me sneeze.

What amazes me is that I really thought that while she was alive and here, that I really loved her fully.  I loved her with all of my heart, but now I know how much more I love her!  It's so crazy, it's more than missing her and longing for her, because I see so much more of what she was made of, things that I didn't catch before.

We were so happy together, even with our human faults.  

If an argument was brewing she would resort to telling me that we're married now, let's be forgiving.

I will always refuse to be without her in my life.  Just can't help it, it only feels natural to me. 

That's just one of my choices in being happy, acknowledging grief but knowing I still have her by my side, and it will be okay somehow!

Take care of yourselves and make someone happy today....spread love around you and good things will come back to you........it's a great feeling!!