Well I dont know what im doing here i think i will mostly be reading posts... The love of my life that i have been with since 7th grade passed away march 20.  he was everything.. my best friend, lover, husband, father to my 10 and 12 year old.  it was always us.  Everybody we knew always said we had the best relationship.. i know nothing is ever perfect especially now. But as people keep telling me life goes on and give it time.. From the first day he passed to now it has not gotten even a tiny bit easier.  everything sucks.   Ive been with this man 30 years and we had been thru thick and thin... literally... been thru it all.  Now im here a widow at 44? a single mom at 44? we struggled to have kids and now i raise them alone.. ??? what the hell am i gpoing to do? thats all for  now... i cant anymore tonight... M