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Comment by Pennywyze on January 24, 2021 at 10:09pm

I love Niki very much, but I wish she would actually stay out of my business if all she's going to do is tell me how wrong I am. I went through a situation with Jeremy's sister last June where I was talking about him and got shut down. She told me I wasn't allowed to talk about him. When I got out of the shower and left the motel room, I told my friend, "I feel sorry for her. I really wish she was as far along in her grieving Jeremy as I am". A few minutes later I was crying and asked him, " When do I get to be the one who falls apart in this mess? Why do I have to be the strong one?" My friend wrapped his arms around me and said, "You don't get to fall apart this time. Unfortunately, you have to be the strong one for them". I'm still completely amazed how strong I have been, regardless of the fact that I was homeless.

I could have lost my mind with having lost my dad, my husband, my nephew, my aunt and my ex the idea of falling apart lingers over my head to this day, but I started telling people what I thought was keeping me so pulled together: my husband is my pilot, he's on my left; my dad is my copilot, he's on my right; the good Lord is in front of me, guiding me; and Jesus Christ has always got my back. Those 4 men are my pillars of strength, and that's how I keep strong.

Talk to you later Diana

- Penny

Comment by Diana, Grief Recovery Coach on January 24, 2021 at 3:26pm

By the way, you have accomplished great things!!! <3

Comment by Diana, Grief Recovery Coach on January 24, 2021 at 3:21pm

I feel like I understand what you are saying.  I also have a friend of 7 years that tells me how I should feel.  She has no right and quite frankly, I'm tired of it.