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Comment by dream moon JO B on September 27, 2017 at 4:49am

yep no fealin bean 5 yrs sinse dad gon

iv tld foget him r els i cnt i no i feal bad coz im not bean fair 2 ther fealins

Comment by Susan Smith on September 27, 2017 at 4:18am

HI Pamela,

I'm really sorry you still feel the way you do. I'm exactly the same, I think I now have smiling depression. Our Mums death leaves a massive hole and a loss of identity as well. We had our Mums for so long and I truely believe how can we ever be the same. I hide how I feel as well and by doing this I don't think we have been able to grieve properly. I feel as if others have moved in and forgotten and we are expected to just act fine and even it we aren't fine would they be bothered anyway. My sibling rings me every week but I act jolly I don't feel jolly but I know he has moved in. He wasn't at my Mams death like I was, I was the only one with my Mam when she gasped her last breath, I still see her doing that and I won't be the same again. The question of our own mortality is what is causing me problems as well. I think I look back and wish that I and probably you could of said NO I aren't doing well I'm terrible it's almost as if if we said this now people think it's weird as it was months ago. X