The day started off good, took the kids to school, exercised at the Y, watched a movie with a friend, back home to clean house and prepare dinner.  I seems like sometimes it was just a bad dream that I let go on for too long. Then my mom calls to talk about selling the family home, money, care for the grandparents, and POP goes the fairy tale bubble I've been playing around in. I can't cope anymore.  I listen but I am not there, I feel like I can't breathe and I have the urge to hang of the phone and not answer it for awhile. I'm suppose to be the strong one, the sane one, and help her make these decisions. I can't even make dinner, that is just too much to ask of me it feel like.  What happens when I don't feel like doing anything anymore? I admit curling up in the covers and sleeping all day long sounds very appealing right now, but I keep fighting for the sake of my husband, children, and siblings. Just scared of what the future holds for me and wondering what a holiday without Dad looks like.