"It all just seems so fake...this idea that good things happen to good people and there's magic in the world and the meek and the righteous will inherit it. There's too many good people who suffer for something like that to be true. There are too many prayers that get unanswered. Every day we ignore how completely broken this world is, and we tell ourselves it's all gonna be okay. "You're gonna be okay." But it's not okay. And once you know that...there's no going back. There's no magic in the world. Least, not today there isn't.

I have to tell myself to just be happy, but... I don't feel happy. And when I try to change it, when I try to remember what being happy felt like, I... can't. I...Don't feel joy, I don't feel inspired. I feel numb."

-Haley on One Tree Hill Season 7 Episode 21

Sometimes I feel like the characters on TV shows are the only ones who actually understand how I feel. They do a better job of articulating that and talking to me than my friends. They are also there and seem to be more dependable than people in real life. This scares me because they are not real and are not actually talking to me or exist. While the feelings may be real, that person was just acting. All the time I wish that I was able to express myself the way they do on TV and I wish that the people around me would respond the way they also do in fake TV reality. At the end of the day the only people I seem to be able to depend on are on Netflix.