Good Morning my precious Dustin Lee,
Today is Sunday around 8 a.m.  It looks as if it is more like 6 a.m.. There is a lot of thunder and lightning and it is dark out. You know I have never been fond of days like this. You on the other hand would sleep in and enjoy the extra rest. Like Kris and Josh told the news reporter when they came out to the house,” He worked hard, played hard, and rested hard”. What a true statement. Even though we spoke and text every day and said I love you and spent most evenings visiting alone or with Josh on the front porch and sitting and watching Reba together while you ate supper; I think back on this and wish I could have had more time with you because even that wasn’t enough especially now that your gone. Don’t get me wrong I am thankful for every minute I had with you, but I wanted a lifetime of those minutes. Crystal and Aunt Darlene are coming today to give the house a good cleaning and try and get some things in order for me. I am so thankful for this. I have managed to make my bed each morning and get a bath and that in itself takes all the energy I have. You know Dust, I still don’t understand all this and maybe I never will. I don’t know at this point how to move forward. These days there is a lot I am not sure of and a lot I don’t know. The things I do know is that you loved us very much and I know that you knew how much we loved you.  I know you wanted to become a Pro fighter and things changed so you being the kind of man and person you were put your responsibilities ahead of your dream. You always did your best to do what was right in your few adult years and you always made us proud. I grieve and cry daily for your loss. Oh how I wish this was only a horrible dream and we would all wake up from the awful nightmare and find you coming downstairs as always smiling that beautiful smile. I can’t pretend that I am ok or that I am not angry beyond words. The book “Tear Soup” that I read makes so much sense. I will continue to make my tear soup on a daily basis and others will start to avoid us (which that is already taking place) because they have had enough of our tear soup and that’s ok. I do avoid the Miss-Cries-a-lot, because they want to make it all about them and I have neither time nor patience for that. We are not the only parents or siblings that have lost a child or brother, but I can honestly tell you, it surely feels that way right now. On a different note , Dad and Josh have been trying to get the yard back in shape and wouldn’t you know it, yesterday the lawnmower messed up and the tool Dad had to fix it is not working and today it is trying to rain so now the grass is gonna get higher. Dad was upset yesterday evening as we talked about you. He did say he dreamed about you the other night and saw you clearly in his dream and you were sitting in the back yard and then on the front porch. It was very hard for him to finish telling me the entire dream, but I am glad he got to see you and I know he was too. I so want to dream about you and see you and maybe that will come in time. I love you so much Dust and I miss you. I miss hearing your voice and spending time with you. I miss your laugh and I miss our long talks. I will talk to you later today Dust. For now, I love you and can’t wait until we talk again.