Not looking forward to Christmas
It's been a long time since I've posted a Blog on here but I am not looking forward to Christmas I am notBecause the people should be here it's no longer hereSee More
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Deborah Christine Creekmore
- Female
- Warren, TX
- United States
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Profile Information
- About Me:
- I am a mom of 8,2 of the 8 are my stepdaughters. I have 27 grandchildren. My family is my life. I am a christian and all of my children are christians. Iam a very loving and protective mom. I have a wonderful husband, who is the stepdad (more like a dad) to 5 of my children and my two stepdaughters are his (well actually only one, we found out when the oldest girl turned 18 that she was not actually his, but we dont treat her any different)and our youngest boy who was 24, was mine and my husbands only child together.
- About my Loss:
- Hey my sweet Dustin,
Today is Memorial Day and it has been one month since you left us. Many are out celebrating today, but I don’t feel much like celebrating. Your loss is tearing me apart. Like I’ve said many times, each day seems to get worse. I completely understand that life goes on for those around us, but ours just hangs in limbo. We try so hard to move forward but as I can tell, it is much too early. Moving forward for me may take months, maybe years. I am not sure at this point. All I know is I am so lost without you here. I miss you and the only thing that could ease my constant pain of your loss is to have you here. All the words of comfort, all the ideas on how or what I could do to ease this constant emptiness are so useless right now. They say time heals all wounds, but I beg to differ. It doesn’t matter how much time goes by, this is a hurt that will never heal nor will it get easier. Dust, I am so angry because I know that this could have been prevented. It was out of others ignorance and lack of responsibility that took you from us. I know how much you loved life and how excited you were about the baby coming (little Johnse), so I know if you had thought for one minute that your life was in danger, you would have walked away no matter what. Nothing will bring you back to us and that I am realizing more with each passing day, but you should never have been taken from us. You were such a huge part of our family. Being here every day is so very painful but being away from here is just as painful. I feel as though I am trapped. The greatest memory that I have of you is that I had no bad memories. All my memories of you are good ones and that I am thankful for. That constant smile always made my heart smile. Your kind gentle spirit, your heart that was way bigger than Texas and your love and support for your family and the bond you and I shared is the things I miss so much. Giving up would be so easy but I know that is not what you would want, but there are many times throughout each day that I do want to give up. It’s not because I love any of your siblings any less and I know you know that. It’s just that our lives have been forever changed and surely not for the better. I still can’t seem to make sense of it all and probably never will. All I know is I miss you and love you . Until tonight my sweet angel….Love you my angel to the moon and back and forever. I lost my 24 year old son on April 27th,2013. He was in a flashfire at his job on April 17th. I was rushing my daughter to the hospital after her water broke and received the phone call from my middle son who also worked at the job with Dustin, that he was in the flash fire. I knew by my sons screaming on the phone that it was bad. I lost my youngest son physically and because my middle son Josh found him and the things he saw and experienced, I have lost him mentally and emotionally.
Deborah Christine Creekmore's Photos
Deborah Christine Creekmore's Blog
Missing You My Precious Son
Another morning and the day begins to dawn
My heart cries out, please God I can’t go on
Pull the blinds, please close the drapes
For my broken heart, there is no escape
I miss your laughter, I miss your smile
This pain will last much more than a little while
I know your happy and you couldn’t stay
I hear those words “Nah I’m Good” now enjoy your day
This advice I would usually take and move on
But there is no joy since you’ve…
ContinuePosted on June 2, 2013 at 9:57am
Missing You My Precious Son
Another morning and the day begins to dawn
My heart cries out, please God I can’t go on
Pull the blinds, please close the drapes
For my broken heart, there is no escape
I miss your laughter, I miss your smile
This pain will last much more than a little while
I know your happy and you couldn’t stay
I hear those words “Nah I’m Good” now enjoy your day
This advice I would usually take and move on
But there is no joy since you’ve…
ContinuePosted on June 2, 2013 at 9:57am
From Crystal, one of Dustin's sisters
As a child my mom told me repeatedly that she whipped us because she loved us, then I never could wrap my mind around that, now as a mom I understand. Now as an adult people say God does things for reason,he has a plan cause he loves us so much, but now I find myself questioning that because he took a part of us when he took my brother, leaving us with an emptiness that brings unbearable hurt and pain. Now I ask myself…
Continue Posted on June 2, 2013 at 9:52am
From Crystal, one of Dustin's sisters
As a child my mom told me repeatedly that she whipped us because she loved us, then I never could wrap my mind around that, now as a mom I understand. Now as an adult people say God does things for reason,he has a plan cause he loves us so much, but now I find myself questioning that because he took a part of us when he took my brother, leaving us with an emptiness that brings unbearable hurt and pain. Now I ask myself…
Continue Posted on June 2, 2013 at 9:52am
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So sorry for your suffering...I too am a Christian and am grandma age..have only two living grandchlidren whom I see only about once or twice a year which is hard..my son was severely disabled, but had beat the odds all of the years he was with us..we adopted him at 4 years old..his health improved over the years, and we won several close battles with death in hospitals and at home over the years, but on May 2 this year, while we were staying at the beach, he went to sleep and didn't wake up...I am still totally reeling and feel like I can't breathe or I'm going to throw up..or scream or throw things..off and on all the time...I have another son who is disabled also..he is going to be 29 on July 11 and I will be 70. My husband has been fighting prostate cancer since last fall...we feel like God is crushing everything out of us all...I'm so terrified all the time about what will hit us next...maybe we can shore each other up from time to time...I have few friends because I've spent so many years doing 24/7 care in my home to my two guys and hardly ever go anywhere else...so I have no one to talk to except my husband and oldest son [dad to my grandkids...he lost two daughters to death before birth and also his first fiancee to a wreck so he understands how devastated I am feeling..but its hard for him to talk much because it dredges up his own despair from the past...it never goes away ...it couldn't ....have you had any sort of sign that your son is OK? I know that is frowned upon by lots of Christians and I don't mean I would go to a psychic or anything like that...but since my son died we have had several instances involving music coming on by itself...he LIVED for good music...well I must run...sorry we have to meet like THIS...hugs to you and all your family..