So my birthday ended up not being that bad. It did start out rough. I cried the whole morning knowing I was not going to get the phone call I usually did from my dad. I smiled despite the pain of it all. I cried like 5-10 times during the day off and on. Thankfully the wishes I got from my friends and family helped mask the missing part.

   Friends,who have lost their parents,have all said"the firsts", and the first year, are hard."  I believe them, I just don't want to deal with it (feel it).

 The past few weeks have been tough overall. I have had two friends lose their fathers, one of which was the football/track coach at my high school when I attended. That one was a double whammy. A beloved teacher/coach and the father of a classmate. His death was expected, as he had been battling cancer and had returned home from failed treatment for his final days. Earlier this week an old friend's dad died suddenly, I felt that one. I have done what I can for them, sent my condolences and offered my support for them, knowing their pain.