A little about me

I am here because my boyfriend of 3 years died by suicide in February. For the first few weeks, I thought I was handling it very well, but I realized later that I was numb. I have good days and sad days. I try to accept what feelings come and not judge myself for them.

 

I talk to him often, mostly when I wake up or right before I go to sleep. I send him love every day. I have heard that that helps their soul/spirit.

 

Some of my friends do not seem to understand why I am still grieving, because he had broken up with me several times during the 3 years, and in fact, I last saw him exactly 2 months before he died. I just expected him to come back again sometime as he'd always done and somehow we'd get our act together and be happy for the rest of our lives. They think I should have moved on by now. But I know there is no timeline or deadlines and I am being gentle with myself as the process unfolds.

 

That's his motorcycle in the picture.

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Comment by Loon on October 13, 2011 at 10:50pm
I am so sorry for your loss, Sandy. Also sorry for your friends not being as supportive as you need. Glad you are here, though. No one can fully understand what you're feeling, even if they've experienced a similar loss, but I believe you will find support here. I do understand feeling numbness. That's the hardest time for me. I would rather feel anything else, than numbness. I also speak to my love during the day and at night. I gives me comfort and I do believe he's aware of what I feel, say and do. Even now.
Comment by David A on August 7, 2011 at 10:56am

Hey Sandy, my condolences for your loss.  I too have suffered a loss do to suicide and like you we didn't have a good relationship but we had one together.  I never abandoned her despite the fact she once left me for another man(that relationship lasted less than a month). I always kept my door and my heart open for her and she always came back. Her loss is hard to take but it get better everyday or so it seems.

Most people here will tell you there isn't a timeline for grieving and you can take all the time you need.  We are here to support you. 

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