As the quote many times attributed to Einstein goes, "The definition of insanity is repeating the same experiment over and over and expecting different results."

So after having a terrible day yesterday and starting to feel like I would end up locked in a padded room, I tried different things today.

First thing I did, was actively fighting the looping tapes that play in my head, each time they would start, I would tell myself to stop, mentally forcing myself to stop.  This was not easy and more than once I ended up in the loops.  However not as bad as yesterday.  

Next thing I got a foot massage today, I never had one, so I did it.  That helped and it did relax me.  Next after picking my son up at school we went to the YMCA and played a little basketball and lifted weights.  We had not done this since before my wife passed, it felt good for me, but son was a little down during this time.  After that went to the AT&T store and got my son a new phone, his started smoking yesterday (part of the bad day) so doing this made him feel better. 

Tomorrow I am going to give up caffeine, at least temporarily.  I read caffeine can exacerbate anxiety issues.  So in the morning it's going to be decaf.

So all of this stuff may have helped some.  I did not cry today,  there was much more calm time today.   I am still quite sad, impossible not to be, but less feeling of being incapacitated.