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Comment by Valerie on April 16, 2015 at 9:14pm

Mark,

Sorry you had a bad day today. For whatever reason, the last 2 days have been torture. Having to leave work at lunch to cry and pretty much crying all day. I finally cried enough to get the heaviness off of my chest. It took awhile to do. I think we have to ride those waves or tidal waves of grief and get them out. Get them out by screaming, whaling, crying and asking why? I blame myself for possibly choosing the wrong hospital for my husband or the wrong the rehab. I knew he was sick for 7 1/2 months, but had made it through all of it and was due home in 5 weeks. I was going to have a welcoming home party! I wish I would have got more involved at the rehab. Although I was with my husband every day except maybe 2 days out of the whole time. I was fortunate and I'm so thankful that I told Mike how much I loved him. I poured my heart out to him and told him he was the best thing that ever happened to me and that I loved him more than life.
I know your situation is different, but somehow I'm sure your wife loved you very much despite an problems she was having. Hold on the calmness and rest yourself during that time. Currently I'm most calm right before I go to sleep.
Bad in the morning and the rest of the day..I'm hoping for a calmer day tomorrow. I pray for one. The last 2 to 3 days have been so painful, that heavy, achy feeling in your heart. When I have that, I know I need to bust the emotions out of it.

Sending healing thoughts and prayers to you.
Valerie