4 months have passed since I lost the love of my life, and my best friend. I did very well the first couple of months...tried very hard to just embrace the grieving process...to use it as an opportunity perhaps for growth and deeper reliance on God... but the past month or 2 I have been ignoring it all... I have been trying to forget all of the pain by living like I'm someone else... ignoring who I truly am. I have numbed myself to my unhealthy behaviors because I tell myself it doesn't…