I have the big hurt right now. I keep expecting him to log onto Facebook and send me a message. Or a text. Or something that would symbolize that he is here. And then I remember that he isn’t. That the last text or IM I will ever receive is from August 12. That there was no tomorrow for him. Just me. And everyone that liked or loved him. 

And it bothers me so much knowing he isn’t going to respond. He isn’t going to reach out. He can’t. That I just can’t wrap my brain around…

I lost my lifemate 15 days ago. We viewed the body and have had the memorial. We were given ashes that were split up between his children, his sister, myself and two friends. I couldn’t function yesterday at all and the weekend was bad too. I don’t know how to figure out this grieving process. This isn’t the first person I have lost. It is the first person that I was in love with and had plans with. 

As part of a tribute to him, I am buying him a headstone and burying some of…