I know I need to.. I can feel it in me. It just will not come out and I just do not know why. I am so angry at life right now. I want to scream! This is a cleansing thing, screaming but crying is a touch better for several reasons.. So mixed right now..ugh

Thank God that I've been able to reach out to people and realize that I need to not let the grief consume me. It's like this, I say oh this can't get any worse but deep inside I am thinking it will get worse. If I'm in the mindset of it's only going to get worse.  Guess what, it's only going to get worse. There's a term used in psychology called the self fulfilling prophecy. It's the idea that we will fulfil our beliefs about oursleves. We say, the pain is going to get worse" It will. We say…

I am in a deep sadness with this grief. I'll admit I've been so depressed before my mom's passing, due to Bipolar. I was so depressed that I was hospitalized for it 3 times. Boy, I thought that that depression was deep. I had never really experienced grief at that time. I was 14. I am now 23. The pain in insermountable! I have never been this deeply saddned. I had seperation anxiety from my mother when I was little. I would cry when she went out. I would be scared thinking she would never…