The love of my will have been gone to heaven almost 3 years ago. I am still amazed about the presence of his soul in my life.

Two days after Christmas, I was standing in the kitchen preparing breakfast. My 3 year old grandson came in to me and said "good morning gramma buttons" (that's what he calls me.) I said good morning baby, are you awake and having a good morning? He said yep. Gramma buttons, I was playing with my dogs. I said, you were? He said yep, Bailey and Shasta were…

The mention of your name, the vision of your face, the thought of your embrace, I thank God I still have those moments when I can hear you call my name. You were my breath, my life, and my soul. I know it is selfish, I know it is not fair to those still around me but I find most times how it is that I can still breathe? Will my heartache ever feel relief? Will it ever go away? All these things bring me, is the reality that you are no longer by my side. I know you look down on me from up in…

Today I feel normal. I am afraid to see tomorrow come because I don't know if my pain and lonesomeness will be back with floods of tears. I lost my husband on April 2, 2011. We were together 15 years. A relationship that started online. We did not marry until February of this year and had put off the official "marriage" for reasons that he and I had wanted our mothers to be there. Unfortunately when he was diagnosed with colorectal cancer in January, we decided that there was no time to…