2 years ago, I bought pizza. We watched movies. Me, mom and tita.

A year ago, I brought pasta and chicken. We watched soaps. Me and mom.

Today. I bought ice cream. And i stare at my monitor. It's just me now.

I miss celebrating my birthday with you both.

The teasing, the second and third serving of our favorite treats, giving our own theories on the movie plots, sleeping in the middle of the film and having to catch up, cheering for the handsome character. I miss you both...…

Mommy! 

Happy Mothers' Day. I miss you so much today. The sadness I am feeling lately has even taken over me physically. I find it difficult to eat, sleep, and socialize. I really just wanna break down and cry today but for some reason I just won't let myself. I don't wanna feel helpless and in pain. So I have been trying to escape my emotions with drinking and smoking. I know you wouldn't be happy about this. You must be very…

Working, if you can call it that, on another essay...I don't know how I can do that, as I can't see the key board.  My first birthday without you.  This time last year, you were so sick, but here.  I miss you so much.  Life is again, lifeless without you.  Just going through the motions 'till we are together again. 

I don't feel you fading away, I feel you right with me.  I hope that I'm not stopping you from the work that you need to do.  But I want to join you so bad, so…