i dont why i dremt it iv alwayz had weid strange dreams even wen i woz a kid but on ths dream it felt real

i dremt of all th peple i hav lost thy wear out side having a babr q i cud hear music playing frm th 80s andd 70s songs playng in th backk groundd 

evry 1 woz thr it had past evn th peple tht i hav nevr met in th family woz thre thy wear…

i had a strange dream abot my dad he woz a super hero i no its a kind of thng kids dream of he com bac to save live but i wud not let go sayng i lost u onse i dont wont to loze u again 

but he saed he woz not gong any wear he woz hear to stay

wen i woke up it felt so real like it realyy hapend it did i no dreams feal real…

it realey anoys me wen i go to funrellss wen peple dont switch off threr cell fones it dose thy cud least switch it off for a bit

i woz at a funrell yday a few plele wear leting thr fones ring thy cud easy turn it off for a bit

i neaded to screame an shout abot it

dose any 1 else go in to a room adn thnk thy hav saw ther lovd 1s siting it the table in the kitchn reding a paper  or go in to th livin room or sea thm watchng tv

or sea thm warking arond th house tht u get uo to go folor thm coz u thng u r gong krazy…

its nealy bean a yr sisne u died i no u wod be upset wi me for fealing guilty al the tim i did not no u wear going to die if i stayed wud i hav stopet u from dying the anser is i dnt no

i woz a very lucky to hav a dad who realy cared for us and loved all of us u always did even stood up for us even tht tim wen the family wear after my blood aftr 1 of my cuzens had a stroke 

the day she foned before the stroke she had a go at u for not runing after her thn foned again and had a…

is it just me or dose any 1 else find thm selfs doing silly thngs in grief buy ther loved 1s thngs or still hoping its a big mistake and thy r going to come thr u the door saying its all bean a big mistake im still hearor u went to sea the wong body it woz my luck alike u saw i no iv bean told wen u breav u will find yore self doing silly thngs 

i feal very lost and wit my dads 1st yr anversy coming up i feal even more lost after my dad died it seamd to be more death and more death last death woz my cuzens husband same type of person as my dad great person allways thnging of others 

i got lost in 2012 after my dad coz to may peopel i new died the last death woz my surgate uncle last yr and this yr 2013 iv new 6 people who died in 2013 ths month the last 1 woz my cuzens husband  a goood man like my dad 2 freinds of my mum and dads 2 nbors 1 to alzimers and 1 to 2 hit and run drivers and a cuzen who i only sea at partys abd im still lost in grief its like a fog i cant get out of…

death runs in 3s janury 2013 monday 7th january the last few days all iv herd is death a freind of my dads died jimmy nbor died thn today in the obitchery another frined of my mum and dads brian who had the big c i feal like death is folloring me all over                                                                                              i hate death it just seams 1 funrall after a another funrall 

IM PLEASED 2012 HAS GONE ALL THE BAD LOOK WIT IT I WOZ WONG GOT A CARL OFF MY ANTI ON THUSDAY TO SAY 1 OF MY DADS FREIND JIMMY HAD DIED SAW A OLD NBOR GEORGE WHO TOLD US GEORDIE HAD DIED I WOZ ONLY SPEAKING HIM 2 YESTERDAY MORNING AND HE WOZ OK THEN I WOZ PLEASED 2012 HAD GONE ONLY SAD BIT ABOT WOZ THE LAST TIME I SAW MY DAD ALIBE WOZ 2012 ON THE 2ND MARCH HE DIED THE 3RD OF MARCH AT 220AM

i no broken bones is easy to fix thy can heal but a loss of a loved 1 u can never fix 

last xmas my dad woz alive and my dads mate my surgate unlcle if id new it woz my dads last i wishd i spoilt him more his bday tomrowo his 1st 1 up in the or shud say out side the gates of heven he used to say im not going in side thm gates till u all come i beleve it with my dad i just hope thr is bars wesr he can get booze and restronts wear he can get food and beting shops so he can still do his horses and a paper shop so he can read his news papers i just…

bulling can be a loss it makes people lose confidens in thm selfs and people have dun silly thngs to thm selfs coz of bullying i woz bulled my self wen i woz youngar

it tims i wish i cud have a time mashin to go back in tim to spend more time wit my dad and othr family members i hav lost i no i wud stilll do the sam mistakes i made i all ways feal guilty tht i left my dad on tht last horbel ward on the 2nd march if i had not bean compling to the nurses i wud of had a bit more tim to spend wit him the 3rd of march we got ther 2 late he died at 220am we got ther at 230am i wisht i spent more tim with som of my cuzens who died…

ITS HARD TRYING 2 STAY STRONG ESPESLY DECEMBAR CUMING UP AND HAVING MELT DOON TEARS NO DAD HEAR THISS YER U GET SIC OF SEANING THE XMAS ADS ON TV AND XMAS TREES UP ALL REDY SHOPS PLAYING XMAS SONGS ALL REDY I NO I MUST SOND LIKE EBERNEZER SCRUGE BUT IT IS HARD TO STAY STRONG ALL THE TIME I NO XMAS TIME WOZ MY DADS TIME HE WOZ BORN ON BOXING DAY IN 1935 AND DIED THE 3RD OF MARCH THIS YER …

if god and the devil are not twins are they man and wife is god man or woman or is the devil man woman i no ther is a lot of tark abot god on hear and difrent relinges is ther 1 god or is ther more thn 1 god and r they all relatd to each otheris evry 1 ther great grand childrn i hope i dont ofend any 1 for this…

some days i nead a good kick up the behind do i nead to sea a dr anser probely yes but do i go no why coz im scared in case i get admited to hosptile why am i scared coz i have this silly idda  in my hed if i do get admitet u dont come out there alive i shud relize my cuzens husband he cum out there alive and his fithing canser  my mum keaps on saying my breathing is geting worse go and sea a dr and like father like dorter i…

if heven is a plase on earth wear is earth is earth a good plase to live or is it a bad plase to live like h e l l or is earth the h e l l we live in wit bad thng happing evry day

wen we 1st saw tht film my dad saed yrs ago life is a never ending story evry day we go thru a difrent chapta in our livess we do 

i rember tht john lenon song imangine my dad saed that song madee sense

there is sum days i want to foget bday cuming up coz my dad is not ther to enjoy it he enjoyed bdays beter then others did                                                                                                               xmas coz it woz my dads tim of yer it woz his bday boxing day and he enjoyed xmas like a big kid even new yer he enjoyed allways hopet on news yer day the yer wood be a good 1 well not this yer             easter he enjoyed only for the sweats he cud eat