I never thought I'd be at this point in my life where I'd actually say I don't think I can take the void much longer.  Your loss and all that has happened really is too much.  It's too final.   This was my biggest fear.  Every horrific nightmare that a person could hope would never happen has happened in less than a year. 

Four days ago for the first time I realized in complete clarity I will never see or speak to you again.  EVER.  It's now been 6 months since the moment I…