That moment when you realize you are all alone. You have nothing and no one. No support or a shoulder to lean on. No chest to burry your face in when your eyes swell up from despair.  Only self-absorbed sadists.   I miss my family. I miss my dogs. I miss who I used to be. I have never felt so alone and sad in my life.  I wonder what kind of asshole I must have been in my past life to deserve this. 

Back here again in the same place I was 6 months ago with my dad. This time its my sweet momma. I knew I jinxed her when I called her indestructible. She lays there now. Stuck in a private prison inside her mind and body. Unable to speak and unable to comfort her visitors.  Momma I am so sorry if I jinxed you.  I am sorry I cannot help you or fix you. I am sorry you’ve had to go these last few months without Pop. I am sorry they moved you so far away from us but I promise we will bring you…

July used to be my most favorite month of the year.  Me, my sister and best friend all have birthdays in July. I normally spent the whole month lounging beach side and having a great time enjoying warm, sunny days.  This year that all changed.  July turned into that dreadful month when I lost my dad.  My warm summer spat in my face on July 6^th.  My dad had a stroke in May and slipped into a coma.  In late June we were told that he would not likely be waking up and if he did, he…

Sometimes sadness turns into rage. Other times it turns to words on a page. Luckily for my knuckles, today I chose the latter.  Enjoy. 

This place is too familiar. I was sent here not too long ago. My heart was stamped with a life time pass that I never wanted. A membership to a 'Not So Amusing Park' where there is No amusement and No fun. There are long lines but so much loneliness... Only emotional roller coasters that seem to shoot downward…