Just a few minutes ago I was enveloped by a wave of grief. I know that it is partly due to me making plans to move closer to school and I am frankly lonesome today. It had been a relief for the last couple of weeks for the knot in my middle to have lessened in its intensity. Today I feel shaky and tired but I know like I know my name that it will be okay. It's just an odd day.

I am visiting with family and it is strange being here without my husband. I am glad that I made the trip; just really feeling conspicuous and a little tired. Lots more memories without him here.

Christmas was surreal but I was surrounded by love and it helped so much. I miss Michael still but it is not the knot in my gut that it was. I have…