"MY NAME IS BYRON. MY WIFE BRENDA DIED IN ICU TRURO HOSPITAL JANUARY 27, 2026. SHE WAS VERY SICK AND IN PAIN. WE WERE TOGETHER FOR 30 YEARS AND MARRIED 25 ON JUNE 16TH, 2026. BUT MY HONEY DIDN'T MAKE IT. NOW I'M LEFT ALONE IN AN…"
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Valerie Stowell
- Female
- Fincastle, VA
- United States
- Blog Posts
- Discussions (2)
- Groups (3)
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Valerie Stowell's Groups
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Traumatic, Sudden Loss
942 members
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Tattoo Memorial
172 members
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I love my Dad.
414 members
Valerie Stowell's Discussions
Hey is anyone on here tonight...
2 Replies
Is anyone on here? It's one of those nights that I could just use someone to talk to. I think my family and friends are going to kill me if I talk about this anymore with them...
Started this discussion. Last reply by Angela S. Apr 27, 2010.
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Valerie Stowell's Page
Profile Information
- About Me:
- My name is Valerie and I live in Virginia. I am 25 years old. This is difficult for me because I am a counselor and a clinical supervisor... I work with people that have problems all day and am able to help them... I just can't help myself. I don't really know what else to say.
- About my Loss:
- My Dad was diagnosed with cancer Summer of 2008. The treatment was very fast and radical and included things such as the doctors removing his whole nose. I was one of two caretakers for him. As time went on he got a lot better and things were looking good... until cancer was found in his throat. Until they could operate on it the doctors suggested a tempoary tracheotomy. With a tracheotomy, the tube needs to be suctioned out every so often. He indicated to my mother that he needed it cleaned out and she went t get the machine to suction it but the hospital (the VA hospital, Dad was a veteran) forgot to send the suction machine. We live in a pretty rural area. My mother called me and told me to come over, which took me less than 5 minutes to get to her house and I just stood there and watched him suffocate. I am trained in CPR for my job but my Dad still hadn't had reconstructive surgery on his nose and I felt so helpless. I didn't know how to do CPR on someone with no nose. I am so angry. I blame myself, I don't know where to place blame. I feel like I have had such bad experiences with death starting from when I was five and fell asleep on my grandfathers lap. I woke up and he was dead and that it my first memory of childhood. Or when I was 19 and my uncle and I were at Disney in Florida and he just died while we were walking around. There has been so much and I don't know where to place the blame or the anger. It's so frustrating when I am having an amazing day and a song comes on or I see a picture and it's just over. I feel the loss all over again and I smell the smells and I'm back in that moment where my life feels like it ended. As a result of my grief I have lost a lot of relationships with friends who I have pushed away and a four year relationship with my fiance. I just need to deal with my own grief before I can let new people in my life I think.
Groups
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Lost My Spouse...
389 members
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Sole Survivors
18 members
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Losing Someone to Drug O…
72 members
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Missing my Son or Daug…
452 members
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How to move on...
11 members
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surviving family members…
15 members
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Lost both parents
13 members
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Missing my sister
14 members
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Funeral Service
3 members
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Sibling Loss
11 members
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Losing a spouse and dati…
19 members
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Losing Someone to Cancer
633 members
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I want my Mom!
9 members
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Loss of a loved one to a…
5 members
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You're too young to be a…
140 members
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Just stopping in to say hello. I hope you are doing well and when you are on again I'd love to catch up. Hugs.
Just saying hello. Thinking of you.